friendly faces

dear little muffin,

yesterday morning when i dropped you at daycare, you saw a little girl getting out of another car and you waved at her and very brightly said "hi!". that's something i really like about you: you have always been a friendly guy.

today, i stopped at the grocery store on my way to pick you up and felt myself surrounded by friendly faces. everywhere i looked i saw people who looked like potential friends--kind, fun, and funny souls. i don't feel like that very often, but when i do it's a great feeling, like the world is an open, safe place, rich and welcoming. i hope you will see the world that way as you get older. good things just waiting to happen.

you are changing constantly, transforming right before my eyes.

you now have the beginnings of two teeth. one is about half arrived, and it's neighbor has shown up fashionably late and is just sticking it's foot through the door.

you can stand by yourself now, entirely unsupported, for a surprising number of seconds before you teeter and drop onto your cushiony bottom. but only when you feel like it; never on demand.

you are very chatty. you have mastered mama, dada, nana, baba, and are now working on your g's. gaga and goo goo, etc. you can say ball ("ba"), you try to say diaper ("di"), and one day even tried to repeat after me when i said tylenol ("ty-o"). you say kitty ("ditty"). you say hi. you say yeah. and i'm pretty sure you've started shaking your head no and nodding yes, and that those motions in response to questions are not just coincidence.

you continue to be a wet and sloppy kisser, and when you kiss (sweetly suck/slobber on) my chin (always giggling) you seem to enjoy exercising your new teeth.

so much has happened since i last wrote. it's too much to begin to tell.

yesterday daddy had a liter of fluid drained from around his right lung. he seems to feel better now that he has more breathing room. he said the fluid looked like iced tea, and i'm glad i no longer drink iced tea or i'd probably just have had that pleasure permanently spoiled. we are waiting for the lab report now to find out if the fluid shows signs of infection or cancer.

it has been a long and difficult month for daddy and me. daddy rests when he's tired, but i've discovered a new kind of fatigue, a kind of tiredness that sees no end in sight. the words "no rest for the weary" often come to mind as i go about my days.

even still, i feel a remarkable amount of friendliness in the world much of the time. it leaves me hopeful. and i hope that hopefulness is something i can impart to you. or better, i hope your hopefulness comes from within, like a bubbling spring, requiring no effort from you, for all of your days.

10 months old

dear baby bear,

tomorrow you will be 10 months old.

you don't seems like a baby so much anymore. you're more like a very small boy now.

when i spend a lot of time with you i forget how small you are. then i see you from a distance and i'm surprised.

your first tooth has finally arrived. by arrived i mean that if i rub my finger over your bottom gum, i feel a sharp edge. i still can't see the tooth, but i think it's because you won't open your mouth for me to have a look. all in good time.

i am having more fun with you than ever. i love to play with you on the living room floor. we have all kinds of games: snuggle games and peekaboo games and kissing games and pattycake games and clapping games. you get the picture.

you also really like it when i gallop around the house with you in my arms, whinnying like a horse. the best part, you seem to think, is when i make horse snorting noises and stomp my hooves. you laugh out loud for my snorting and stomping antics.

you're a fast crawler now. when i leave you in the living room for a minute and walk to the kitchen, i can hear the thunk-thunk of your racing crawl on the hardwood floors behind me. you love to pull yourself up to standing by holding on the chair and couch. then you make your way as far as you can before you run out of support. you pull up on the piano bench to play your version of chopsticks (you can just reach the piano keys). you usually play piano in the morning, early, before daddy and the neighbors are up. ;)

you've been saying da da da a lot. i think you miss spending mornings with daddy before going to daycare. you had a lot of fun playing with daddy this morning, though, and i know he can't wait to hold you and play with you more as he starts to feel better and better.